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XxKittixX
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Name: Ami
Location: New York, United States
Birthday: 3/26/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: just started dragonboating!!!
Expertise: haha absolutely nothing
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
5/24/2002
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| Wow, that took way too much effort to figure out how to add a weblog...
Maybe it's just me getting old, but things like facebook and xanga are getting way too complicated nowadays.
Anyways, I just felt like writing in xanga mainly because I've forgotten that it even exists for the past 4 years until this evening when a friend mentioned it. I've also realized that all this talking and pondering about relationships lately has really helped me think things through. It's something I've definitely missed this past couple of years. Sure, I might have had conversations here and there, but the last two years of my life honestly feel like a hurried drive down a busy highway where all you can do is focus on weaving in and out of lanes 'cause you're already five minutes late. So, for the first time in a very long while, I'm going to slow down a bit and reflect a little.
First off, there's a difference between drama and plain old life. Drama is unnecessarily overreacting over little things that are actually not very significant in the grand scheme of things. Plain old life is dealing with actual problems in a nice, sane manner by thinking things through thoroughly. I accept that my first year in college was definitely full of drama. I lost some friends, learned some lessons, made some enemies, and suffered a bit, but I'd like to believe I've moved far past that point by now. And hopefully grew a little from that process.
Secondly, your life is yours - live it however you want to live it. I spent the better half of this year stuck in a situation I've never been in before: surrounded by people with vastly different goals in life. People who weren't quite as dedicated to their work as I was used to from my industry co-op and academic experience. It felt like being stuck in a group project and having to pull all the weight. I stressed out quietly for awhile and let people walk all over me until it was too much. So I grew a backbone, tried to play this hideous political game, and fought back a bit. Sure all the problems got fixed, but then I realize it doesn't really matter. It wasn't the other person's fault. It was mine. Negative thoughts will get you nothing but stress. I honestly don't like thinking negatively. My boss once came in stopped midwalk and commented to me "You look happy today." Honestly, why be sad when you can be happy? It's just your frame of mind - you can choose to be happy, or choose to dwell on the shortcomings in your life.
Third is a simple quirk I've noticed about my stance on relationships. I've always considered myself fairly laid-back and understanding. But I've never really understood why until today. I don't really stress out about relationships anymore. I've always told myself two things: whatever happens will happen and everything will work out in the end. I truly believe these two sayings because there's just too many variables in a relationship. It's two people from two vastly different background coming together and reaching some ever-changing compromise. The maximum control you can have over the relationship is 50%. If he decides to move to London for a year, there's honestly nothing you can do about it. And to be completely honest with myself, if I had a similar choice, I'd probably choose the same way, too. Yes, relationships can end, maybe it's not the right time, you can drift apart, find other people, or just be plain old not "right" for each other (whatever that means). But is any of that preventable (without the hindsight, mind you)? What-ifs are tempting, but way too tiring. It'll really all work out in the end. Maybe not exactly that way you thought it would, but it'll all work out in the end.
Well, I'm mostly assuming almost no one will read this given such rare updates, but I was in a reflective mood. Either that or I'm merely procrastinating because getting one damn visa for a freaking 12-day tour is fudging annoying.
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| ok, so I haven't updated in a while...a long long while....
My life is hell....
my classes start at 10...but i wake up at 6 to study....then I'm off to classes and labs til at least 5ish....I usually don't get to eat at all until 5, unless you count granola bars...BAH stupid stupid BME. grrrr.
on a lighter note, I met Colin's father and stepmom. They're very nice...a little intimidating, but nice. And they like me!! yay!!..well at least i hope they do...I've had 3 dinners with them this past week and one more tonight. I just need to stop being nervous.
Plus, Tony's visiting...I would tell you what we did, sightseeing and all, but we haven't left Justy's room yet. The poor boy was sleeping when I got in, so I decided to busy myself with xanga.
hmm....anything else? well, I ballroom partner graduated, so I just go to the lessons and mingle with the club.
anyways, I'm off now, see ya guys in like...a couple months or so.... | | |
| If you had to lose one of the five senses (hearing, sight, smell, touch, taste) which one would you choose?
For me, DEFINITELY hearing. In fact, losing my hearing right now would be a nice change...
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| wow I'm really horrible at updating...
A few predictions:
Petunia will do magic (either in book 6 or book 7)
Ron will become Quidditch Captain (why else would Rowling make him good at chess n strategizing?)
And I'll take a stab in the dark and say the big revelation concerning Lily has something to do with Lupin....
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| Hey, anyone wanna go up to Boston this Sunday, 6/22/05 ? | | |
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